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What Are Spoons?

There’s a metaphor that has helped me understand how we handle things as humans.


Basically, every person starts life with a certain amount of spoons in their possession. That amount represents their default state of energy and functionality. Some have more spoons, some have less. Everyone operates at a different level, we all have different spoons. 

Throughout life, we gain and lose spoons. Gaining some is great! Losing some, not so much. And it can be especially bad if your supply is never replenished. And if your spoons never get replenished, the next time an event occurs that requires spoons/energy, you’ll be in a worse place to handle it. And if that doesn’t get replenished things can get even worse. And so on and so on. It’s a slippery slope. 

Once you get to very few spoons, everything becomes difficult and our mental states and also physical states are at risk (the two often go together). To get out of that mess, you need to get your spoons back, so to speak

That’s what this site is for. A way to help you get back your spoons. Most of the content on this site is based on educational research, personal experience, and consultations with licensed mental health professionals and licensed mental health coaches.


It’s not an absolute truth and it might not fix everything, but I hope that it could help you on your journey.

Getting your spoons completely depends on what stage you‘re at in your life. You might be in critical condition and barely hanging in there, or you might be struggling with more common life challenges. Either way, it is important to know what stage you’re at so you can proceed accordingly. 

Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as an outline, we can figure out what stage a person is at. I’ve created a breakdown of steps corresponding to each level of the pyramid, which can hopefully help people get to where they’d like to be.


How To Get Your Spoons Back

Please note that not everyone will have the same process and it's very common to work on multiple steps at a time and not necessarily in a linear way.

Breakdown of Steps


In order to survive, we need the essentials.


Similar to Step 3, what is life if you’re not spending it with the ones you love. And what is life if the person you’re spending it most with (yourself) is someone you don’t love?


After getting the basic physiological needs, it’s time to find safety.


You’ve got almost everything you need to survive, but now it’s time to truly live and enjoy life to its fullest.


What is life if you don’t have loved ones to share it with?

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