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Steps for Getting Your Spoons

Here are the steps involved in this process. Click on each one to be taken to their pages.


This first step is all about your physiological needs in life: water, food, shelter, sleep, etc. These resources are requirements to survive. In general, if you don't have these basics it'll be incredibly difficult for you to feel happy and at peace in life.

This second step focuses on finding ways to feel safe. Safety can come in various forms, such as physical, environmental, emotional, financial, and more. There are lots of different kinds that will need help. We will cover a few of these in this section, but we'll mainly focus on physical safety - that tends to be the most immediate form that needs to be addressed.

This third step is all about love & support. Regardless of what we may think or how hard we might try to fight against, we need love in our lives. It doesn't have to be romantic, it just has to be the kind of love that provides you with a sense of security, safety, and support. Support being the key ingredient. Without support to help us through life, we can often find ourselves feeling lost and alone. Untethered to a sense of self. People you love help build you up and help you maintain a sense of self.

This fourth step is a variation of the third step, but this time it's about providing love and support to yourself. This is also a step where re-parenting is often done. It's all about building yourself up and feeling comfortable in life.

The final step is self-actualization. Once you've taken care of all the necessities and understand who you are as a person, you can understand what you want out of life. What drives you, motivates you, and will help you live as fully as you can. This step is usually ongoing and regularly changing. It's important to keep that in mind, and to know that there isn't necessarily an answer to what you're hoping for. 

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